Non-Possessive Love

Possession may be nine-tenths of the law, but not when it comes to the law of Love.  When we are ready to play in the upper leagues, we need to forget all the rules we have learned while playing in the minors.  Those rules only serve to limit our ability to experience an abiding state of Love unlike any we have ever felt before, even though it has been available to us since the beginning of time.

In this age-old game that we are only beginning to discover, Self-Love is revealed as the core principle because all other aspects of authentic intimacy flow from that.  When we love and accept and forgive and are compassionate and at peace within ourselves, we experience ourselves as an extension of a much higher, purer Love.  We realize that this source of all Love doesn’t possess anything because it is those things, and the concept of possession simply doesn’t resonate anymore. Fear no longer colors our interactions, and boundary lines begin to disappear.

From here, there is no longer a need to possess anything, least of all another person: their beauty is recognized as an integral part of their surroundings, and so we realize that removing them from a situation or relationship would change the very essence of who that person is.  Even uprooting a flower to transplant it changes the structure of that flower as it begins to integrate the nutrients from the new soil.  We allow a person to remain where they are out of our absolute abiding Love for ourselves.

In freeing someone to live as they are, we free ourselves in the process.  Now when two people genuinely come together, there is a celebration of authentic sharing that occurs.  No longer are there power struggles and resentments, just a freedom to dance together.  Only then can true communication and intimacy occur, because there is no fear that the other will take advantage of our unguarded Self. 

Feeling love for someone else may incite potent responses, but Loving ourself as an expression of Life propels us far above that mortal love we have all come to believe is the brass ring that we could never quite reach.  In this experience, we are free to love someone for who and how they are because we love ourselves for who and how we are.  We no longer need them to love us the way we want to be loved, and instead honor the ways in which they feel organically inspired to express their love for us.  There is no longer a perceived deficit because we are now overflowing with pure love from the source of all Love.

And when we Love someone for who they are and valuing how they show their love for us, they feel free and valued and loved, and then possession doesn’t even factor in anymore.  If a person is fulfilled in a relationship, then there is nothing in the world that would get them to leave, and if a person we love is not fulfilled, we Love ourselves and them enough to let them go because we realize that trying to get them to stay doesn’t serve the higher expression of Love.

A promise of love, whether it is one of eternity or just until death, is only a poor cousin to an expression and experience of total Love in this moment.  The ability to love someone for who and how they are is the best indicator as to whether or not a relationship is healthy.  We can only gain that skill, though, if we first Love ourself, and we can only Love ourself completely if we grow beyond the limiting concept of possession. 

**********
Click Here For An Index Of All Posts By Title